how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
