these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
