I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
