i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
