He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I checked into jail on foursquare
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
