how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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