I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Of course I have a pirate flag
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize