I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
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