Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
