let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Randomize
