So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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