you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
