I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
