This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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