saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
