no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
