just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
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