Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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