dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
