can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
