I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
