So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
