Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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