do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Randomize
