Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
