Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
