I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize