Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
This baby is an asshole
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
