I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
