I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Randomize
