All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Sober January is a disaster.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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