I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
