I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
