problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
