She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
