Apparently you make a good broom.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
