I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize