She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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