Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
