wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
