White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Randomize
