operation harelip BJ is a go
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
