Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
