Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
