I haven't been this sober since birth.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
