I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
