Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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