From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Even my vagina gasped.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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