Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I deserve this hangover.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
