I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Randomize