I must be too annoying 4 u.
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
