whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize