If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize