We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
