Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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