Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
