why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
