You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Randomize