Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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