Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
